SOME OF MY LIFE EXPERIENCES -1

                                                      CHILDHOOD MEMORIES -1

             My both parents are followers of Dr. Ambedkar who is a great revering and towering figure for Dalits in India. My father was a small Government employee in the PWD department under the Harayana government. Our home town is MEHAM in the ROHTAK district of the state of HARYANA   My father-the first person from whom I have developed sociological leaning -was a great anti-caste leader He was agnostic and had a rational outlook. Although my mother is an illiterate lady but many a time, she puts a great deal of thought into and even takes the lead role in making her point very clear over a wide range of social issues. She is really like an iron lady.

              The atmosphere of my family was always charged with social-political debates So, despite not having any strong economic background, I got a lot of opportunities to read a great amount of non-fictional socio-political literature about social reformers of India viz. Gautama Buddha, Jyotiba Phule, Periyar, DR Ambedkar, etc. I gave all the credit to my father for making me a voracious reader. 

            I was a staunch agnostic and also an avid and voracious reader. Reading was not just a learning exercise for me but it was also like a unique healing exercise to keep all my casteist memories and encounters at bays in school days. Over time I became more and more concerned about crimes and atrocities inflicted on my community.  

                   Although I had not experienced any outright crimes since class 7th-the reason might be that I was in a somehow good private school and not in an under-funded public school - I was able, even at that time, to see the hollowness of the so-called ideal society by observing the indifferent attitude of others towards us at both social and individual levels, many times. I will tell some bitter experiences later in some other blog. A more often incident is given below.

               Most of the time, my schoolmates-who were curious to know about me- became shocked after listening to the name of my caste and I don’t have any single incident in my childhood memory that they became assured-or silenced- by my single statement about my identity. For them, my caste was an indicator of social hierarchy but for me, it was just a social identity – the last vestige of their theistic-mystic society. 

             What will you say about their multiple questioning? If we assume them to be neutral and think that they may not have any wrong intentions, no one can argue that it was a very abnormal thing for a teenager to have such type of multiple encounters -all crass moments. I was like an unpaid social historian who had to lecture every time to break the social taboo of those, not accustomed to a socially conscious and confident Dalit. In most cases, they don’t keep further engagement with me as a friend-only thing I get as a reward for lecturing is- peace.

             I was able to digest all such painful experiences all the time because I have been reading about Dalit literature since my childhood. I was so lucky at that time that because of my upbringing at home, no one was able to make me feel inferior. FOR ALL SUCH REASONS, although we don’t believe in God-like things, Dr. Ambedkar for me personally is more important than so-called GOD. 

  A REVOLUTIONARY... JAI BHIM TO ALL...